You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
