You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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