The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize