Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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