We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
