I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
