i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would fuck him just for his dog
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize