Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

(508): View more from Massachusetts

He does that

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(971): View more from Oregon

Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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(909): View more from California

If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.

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