Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
