he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize