He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
