I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
