i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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