oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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