Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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