Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
