We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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