We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
did i just pee glitter
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
