Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
