Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
