We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize