Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And then he peed in my hair
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