Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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