She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
