I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
