Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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