I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
