I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
