It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
