I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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