I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
