GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
third nipple confirmed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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