Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
