Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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