i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
