Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize