You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
