no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
