There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Welp...herpes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
