OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
