I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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