I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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