youre lurking in front of me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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