You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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