Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
