eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
