Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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