Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
