She is in my trunk
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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