dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
