I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
