He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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