And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
