no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
