My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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