Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
