They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize