Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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