It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize