It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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