You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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