Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
