Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
