I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
